After The Storm

Later in March 2003, I got into a big argument with the girl that Still Holding On was the subject of ... I can't remember what it was about, but it started over MSN, so quite possibly some misunderstanding of not being able to see the expression behind the words. Anyway, I was in quite a sensitive headspace with relation to the female race right then, so afterwards I went upstairs and wrote this in about an hour and a half ... the quickest I'd ever written a song at the point, seeing as the first one had taken me about a year, and the second one at least a few days. This is also the first song I wrote that I'm really proud of, the last two lines of the second verse (the verse that begins "And when I get these feelings out") are two of my favourite lines I've ever written, and I think that this is the point that my writing took a departure for the better ... Some people will probably nowadays see this and think "emo", but that doesn't really bother me ... in March 2003, "emo" wasn't being used as a perjorative term, and also, I did write this when I was 16 years old. Finally, someone I showed this to said it reminded them of Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley, which overpowers any baseless condemnation of it :b

As usual any thoughts are welcome

(As an aside note, this is the last song I wrote about this particular girl. We later made up and went back to being really good friends ... we're still good friends, although since going to Uni we've drifted apart a little bit. She also, last time I checked, still likes Still Holding On :b)


After The Storm - March 2003

The pen touches the paper
But thats all that I can do
Somewhere in my memory
Lies the girl that I once knew
But I can't write about her
Because none of it is true
Where you once were that little girl
Now all you are is you

I thought we could still be friends
Through thick and thin
To the bitter end
But what a fool I must be
To think that could happen to me

Chorus:
Why?
Oh why did she have to lie?
She said that we could still be friends
And then she said goodbye
Left me sitting in the dark
Staring into the night
Trying to sort my confused thoughts
Into something I can write
Why?
Why oh why?

And when I get these feelings out
To fill all this white space
Well thats the time I can scream and shout
Like I'm telling it to your face
And I feel so small and lonely
Just a little out of place
I still hear you, smell you, see you, feel you
And I'm dreaming of your taste

And sometimes I think that maybe you're right
That I've been wrong
Through every fight
But what a cruel thing to do
To leave me thinking of you

Chorus:
Why?
Oh why did she have to lie?
She said that we could still be friends
And then she said goodbye
Left me sitting in the dark
Staring into the night
Trying to sort my confused thoughts
Into something I can write
Why?
Oh why oh why?

If you were back here with me
Well I don't know just how I'd be
Would I like you, love you, hate you
Or all three?
But at least once more we could be 'we'

Chorus:
Why?
Oh why did she have to lie?
She said that we could still be friends
And then she said goodbye
Left me sitting in the dark
Staring into the night
Trying to sort my confused thoughts
Into something I can write
Why oh why oh why
Did she have to lie?
Why oh why oh why oh why?
All alone
I start to cry
As I wonder
Why oh why oh why?