Schizophrene

The end of 2005 and beginning of 2006 was such a huge turning point in my life. To give a brief overview, I'd started at Uni, and while I had made friends and integrated myself a bit in the first term, I hadn't really met anyone or joined any social groups outside of the block I was living in (incidentally, the best friend I made that term buggered off over the Christmas holiday and never came back). To make matters worse, my girlfriend of about 22 months and I split up towards the end of the year. So 2005 ended on a bit of a downer, but I was determined that 2006 was going to be better. I was going to be positive ... wrote myself motivational signs and stuck them on the back of my door and everything :D

Although I was mostly OK at the start of 2006, at times I was still hurting pretty badly. As a result, my lyrics took a bit of a departure ... the first three songs I wrote in 2006 weren't all inspired by the same thing, but they were all exorcism of inner demons, but in a sort of exaggerated, tongue in cheek, darkly humorous way, sort of like some songs by Guns N' Roses or Nirvana ... the thing I like about Nirvana especially is the humour in Cobain's lyrics, which I think is often overlooked. You read the lyrics to something like You Know You're Right with its "things have never been so swell / and I have never felt this well" refrain, and its great, just dripping with sarcasm.

This particular song was put together really quickly, took about half an hour in all, most of which was when I was in the shower. Strangely, when I posted it online, people seemed to really like it, saying it seemed really genuine and sincere. One guy even asked if I minded him putting some music to it. The main thing I like about it is that I managed to get some made up words in there :p Feel free to comment

Schizophrene - January 2006

You tell me one day
I’ll be OK
Well honeybitch, it ain’t today!
Fuck you!
I really want to
What am I supposed to do?

Chorus 1:
I love you!
I hate you!
I lust for you…
Repulsed by you!

I think I’m going insane!
Becoming a Schizophrene!
I think I’d better get away
Before you become my Queen!

I often want
To come inside
Just to rip out all the lies
That you left
Inside my head
But I would never wish you dead ...

Even though you’re gone
Still you lead me on!

Chorus 2:
I love you!
I hate you!
I lust for you….
Repulsed by you!
I want you…
To go away!
Please just leave me!
Please stay
Tell me who the hell
You’re supposed to be?
You’re a friend to me…
My worst enemy!

I don’t know how I got here!
I don’t know how to leave!
You sold me your elixir
But I think I was deceived!

Chorus 3:
I love you!
I hate you!
I lust for you….
Repulsed by you!
I want you…
To go away!
Please just leave me!
Please stay
Tell me who the hell
You’re supposed to be?
You’re a friend to me…
My worst enemy!
I created you
You created me
Is this really
What you wanted to see?

I think I’m going insane!
Becoming a Schizophrene!
I think I’d better get away
Goodbye to you my Queen!